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Tian Dayton MA, PhD, TEP
“No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.” – Calvin Coolidge


Today I will try giving for its own sake, with no particular motive, recognizing that giving and receiving are somehow the same channel. When the pipe is open, things flow in both directions simultaneously. Giving with an open heart is its own reward. But why is it so hard? First of all, I often give because I want something back, I give in order to get. Then I feel used and ripped off when I don’t get it. Second, I sometimes give for approval or closeness; then I feel rejected and let down if my giving doesn’t achieve that. And third, I sometimes give from an empty place, I give when I don’t want to. Perhaps then I should just step back and preserve my energy, understanding that it’s okay to “give” because it’s part of what needs to happen that day—but I won’t confuse that with open handed giving.


I will give openly and happily or not call it giving.   




You are reading from One Foot in Front of the Other: Daily Affirmations for Recovery by Tian Dayton, PhD (Health Communications, Inc., 9780757317880, paperback, 384 pages, $11.96).

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Tian Dayton, PhD, is the author of sixteen books, including The ACoA Trauma Syndrome; Emotional Sobriety; Trauma and Addiction; Forgiving and Moving On; and The Living Stage. In addition, Dr. Dayton has developed a model for using sociometry and psychodrama to resolve issues related to relationship trauma repair. She is a board-certified trainer in psychodrama, sociometry, and group psychotherapy and is the director of The New York Psychodrama Training Institute.